I am alive.
Procrastinating and generally inefficient with my own free time, anxious, frustrated with all my hobbies, but fine. Anyway, let me address few possible questions:Inactivity
There are two reasons behind it. The first reason is school and the other one is dissatisfaction with my own work. Having high goals and standards for your own work isn't bad, if they are reasonable, however mine seem to be hundreds of steps ahead relative from my own skill.
My own belief is that you can do (almost) anything you want, if you invest enough effort into it. It took me hundreds of attempts to be finally able to draw a pony that looks reasonably well. But now, I don't see any improvement anymore. Now what? Try harder? Or maybe try some different approach?
But first, let me ask myself a question: why do I have such high unreasonable expectations?
The reasons are: quality over quantity, fear of failure, jealousy.
Quality over quantity: I really don't mind if someone posts barely once a month or year if his/her work is good. If I were to compile a list of my favorite Youtube channels, there would a lot of channels that upload roughly once a month or less. Same would probably apply here on deviantArt.
Fear of failure: in most cases, an unreasonable fear. What could possibly happen if I were to post my attempts at human faces regardless of how terrible it goes? Nothing, aside from popping up as relevant searches and found uninteresting by other people, which means less views and favs which translates back to lack of motivation. I have the feeling that an ideal artist should follow his creativity/heart without having sole focus on how much everybody reacts back, but just like every person, we enjoy being accepted and praised.
(Disclaimer: there surely are people that don't care about praises and acceptance...)
Jealousy: Nothing too deep about this. "Why can't I draw/paint/write as good as this?"
That's enough venting for this part.Requests
I'll try to do them once I get over the 'I hate my own art' problem (see above) and school.Comic:
It's difficult... very difficult. I have nothing more to say about it that wasn't horribly butchered in the previous journal. Except maybe for complains about how difficult it is.
And that's about it.
Hopefully, this journal entry is written better than the previous ones. Maybe it's slightly longer. I tried to avoid excessive amount of 'I's, which should make it seem less awkward. Oh yeah, no emoji! Feels so weird when I don't use them.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!